Humanist
Blues Review
Wondrous Gifts
RELIGION
by
George Fish

I.

Inspired,
and with
a gleam
in his eye,
he now
showed Galileo
the instruments
of torture
that would be used
against him
if he did not
recant.
This man
is now a saint
in the
Roman Catholic Church,
proclaimed
a holy, learned man
after whom
schools
are justly named.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
This man
is St. Charles Borromeo.

“No! No! No!”
he told
the visiting
American Catholics
in 1876,
“The Church alone
is the repository of
Ultimate Truth.
It cannot
share this
guardianship
with inferior Science.”
He continued,
“No! No! No!
The Church alone
upholds
the eternal Law
of our Lord God,
the only
True Law.
It cannot bow
to the political
State,
whose laws
are made by
mongrel
denominations.
From these
the Church
must stand
aloof,
alone,
above them,
over them,
and dominant.”
This man
is also a saint
in the
Roman Catholic Church,
proclaimed
as well
a holy, learned man
after whom
schools
are justly named.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
This man
is Pope St. Pius X.

 II.

Dime-store
Torquemadas
abound
on my
TV screen,
but not
in
monks’ robes.
Instead,
they wear
expensive,
custom-tailored
suits.
Nor do they
have tonsures.
Instead,
they sport
perfectly-styled
hair,
every hair in place,
the Divine result
of $50 haircuts.
But the message
is the same:
“Repent! Fear Hell!
Serve Jesus!”
Only with
a new twist.
They now say,
“Serve Jesus!
and the value
of your stocks
will rise,
your house
will appreciate
in value,
and you
will now
proclaim
the Brotherhood
of Man
without having
pesky
Hispanics
and
African Americans
for neighbors.”

These
dime-store
Torquemadas
parade before me:
Robert Schuller,
Billy Graham,
Jerry Falwell,
Pat Robertson,
Oral Roberts,
Tammy Faye,
Jim Bakker…
Jim Bakker?
How’d he
get in?
He must have
sneaked in
through deceit
like Savanarola,
who also
proclaimed
his fealty
to God,
but was
smoked out
as a heretic
and justly burned
at the stake.

III.

And speaking
of steaks,
God
will provide them
felicitously
for your
benediction,
in the
most exclusive
and expensive
restaurants in town.

Serve Jesus!
and he will
truly serve you.
by
George Fish

I am Godzilla.
I am greater than God!
For one thing,
I have a last name.
Further, I destroy cities,
I don’t just sit on a cloud
for all eternity
and fart.
Moreover, I am greater
than Jesus Christ.
I destroy churches,
I don’t allow them
to do evil
in my name.
So, who am I?
I am Godzilla!
Godzilla!
Godzilla!
Godzilla!
Godzilla,
greater than God.